A Perfect Life
by BookCaseGirl
Summary: ONESHOT. Takes place before S 1 "The Party." Junior's thoughts before he tells Kris he thinks he's in love with her.


A/N: So this story kinda kicked my butt as I wrote it. Its my first time trying out first-person writing, and I had to keep going back and fixing it, lol. But, I think all ended well. I'm leaving soon to travel for the weekend, so I'm not sure if I'll update my stories before then. I know I should, but I think I'm getting writer's block again. I'll try my best though. Enjoy the story!

--BookCaseGirl

I came to the realization on a stormy night. I couldn't sleep because of rain pounding on the house and I was thinking of Kris. I found myself doing that a lot. I lay in bed with the covers pulled just up to my waist and I thought of the other day, when we almost kissed. If only we hadn't been interrupted by Matt. The ice cream was nice, though. It was a good time for the three of us.

And so I lay there, beneath the dark navy covers of my bed, and thought about Kris and the strange feelings I had towards her. I had never felt like this before and was reluctant to call it what I called it. I called it love, but it could have been obsession, as Dani had said those few weeks ago. No, I thought, it's not obsession. If it were, I would be thinking about her a _lot_ more than this.

I turned over and came to the resolution that it was love. Even though it was an emotion that I hadn't felt for anyone ever before outside of my family, it was just like I could tell. It was as if a lightbulb went off in my head telling me how I felt.

I'd never experienced it before and it almost scared me. My stomach rolled at the thought of seeing her. Whenever I did see her, my entire body felt warm and gooey. I felt like a love-sick, 9-year-old girl, but it was the truth. The first time we'd kissed, it was amazing, and I felt the fireworks as I'm sure she did. Too bad that was cut short, I thought as I remembered the roaring of the mountain lion.

I flipped back so I was laying flat again and I stared at the ceiling, thinking of how I could tell her. I wasn't so sure I ever really wanted to tell her. Maybe after a while it would just become apparent. I hoped so, because I didn't want what we had to take that toll yet. The one where the guy tells the girl, or vice versa, that they love them, and the other doesn't answer and they get into a big fight eventually leading to a break-up. I didn't want that to happen to us, I really didn't.

I liked her a lot, I was positive of that fact. But, no one can define love, so I didn't know what it was like to have that for someone I barely knew. I didn't know how it had happened either. I just- She was so beautiful and radiant. And we were so much alike, but we were still so different. It sounded cliché, I knew that, but, again, it was true.

I tried turning to my other side and saw the moon peek through the clouds as the storm died down, the rain now a distant pattering on the roof of the house. I stared out at the night with heavy eye-lids. I was happy that I had seemed to solve something on my own for once. Happy that I wasn't my father, a cold-hearted ass (but I still love him), and could still love. That I had room in my heart.

It actually surprised me. That I had that capacity. That after all those girls that I had mercilessly tossed away, I wasn't my father. It should have surprised me less, but it didn't. I realized, then, how much I used to think I was like my dad. But I wasn't, and I was glad.

As I felt sleep still threaten my mind, I made a promise to myself. I would tell Kris. She needed to know how I really felt about her, and I owed it to her. I promised that I would tell her when I felt the moment was perfect. When I felt like I just had to say it. When I felt I couldn't hold it in anymore. I would do it, when I felt a spark telling me to.

And so I had made many conclusions that night. The most important, I loved Kris. I loved her a lot. My heart swelled just as I thought about it. Another conclusion was that I most certainly was not my father. I also decided that I would tell Kris I loved her, no matter the consequences. I've had quite the productive night, I thought to myself right before sleep overtook me. And so I fell asleep, dreaming of her. Dreaming of a life with her. Dreaming of a life without hurt of pain. A perfect life.


End file.
